How to … Keep Discussions from Turning into Arguments

In a discussion everyone wins.In an argument no one wins.
When Having a Discussion
• We treat people as partners in a problem solving/
decision making session.
• We share ideas, consider alternatives, and evaluate
the pros and cons.
...• We listen to other people’s thoughts and explore
ideas we haven’t previously considered.
• We learn more about the issue, about what we think
and feel, and about each other’s values.
• We seek people’s support, not their resentful
silence.
• We may passionately disagree with each other but
mutual respect keeps the discussion civil.
Tips to keep discussions from turning into arguments:
1. Do not argue.
2. Try to see things from the other person’s point-ofview.
3. Focus on interests, not positions.
4. Listen.
...5. Ask clarifying questions.
6. If you are wrong, admit it.
7. If you are right, allow the other person to save face.